Two beers for Laurie at the door!

New Years Eve was spent walking around NY city maintaining a buzz. My old buddies from high school had met me and we started the afternoon drinking beer in central park, we tried to hide it as we drank out of bags. I felt 16 again, hiding our drinking and stuff.

It was dark as we headed back through the city and stopped to look at giant monster crabs in the window. One friend was a very pretty girl from high school. I dragged her to one side and said “Hey lets kiss” and she said “hey yeah lets,” but I was so buzzed we bumped teeth. I felt silly, apologized and suggested we catch up with our friends.

Around 3-4am and we passed this “thump thump chunka chunka” music so we entered a building and walked three stories up to check it out. When we arrived they wanted 50 bucks to get in! Ha! We were all broke by then so we left and went back to the apartment to crash.

But I was having too much fun, so I went back to see if I could get in for free! So its 4am, people were going in and out ( some really paid!) and I start talking to the girl at the door, “aw common, you know you want to let me in” and to the bouncer, “ hey man, what’s the craziest time you had tossing people out?”

Well the charm and persistence finally paid off! She gave in and stamped my hand. But there was one condition. I had to go to the bar and get her something to drink. I reminded her I was broke and she said to just ask for “a beer for Laurie at the door”. “Great” I thought, “I’m in, but I’m broke, what to do?” So I marched up to the bar and said “two beers for Laurie at the door!”

It was huge inside and everyone at the party was drop dead gorgeous; they had fancy lights and big art on the wall. Everyone seemed European and on weird euro drugs. Listening to that “chunkca chuncka” techno crap.

The next 4 hours was spent going back and forth for “two beers for Laurie at the door.”

At one point a bunch of French dudes went to an ATM to get cigarettes and I joined them. Although I could not understand anything they said, they found me hilarious and we laughed our asses off.

Finally this one kid was acting weird, getting in every ones face and people tried to ignore him. But I couldn’t. The next thing I know I’m on top of him and beating him. No one noticed or cared. I was embarrassed by what I was doing, so I got up and quickly left. But I calmed down and decided to go back up. After all, it was “two beers for Laurie at the door” night!

The next morning this is what I found in my pockets: a full pack of euro cigarettes with the lid torn off, a flashing light happy new year souvenir, and wrappers for things I did not eat.

The whole thing reminded me of a Seinfeld episode where George gets into a super model party. But when he goes back the next day to show Jerry where it happened, the place is a meat locker.